Britt McHenry and Janet Yellen = Dumb and Dumber

Headline:
Sexy ESPN Hostess and Geriatric Central Banker Have A Lot In Common

ESPN reporter Britt McHenry’s verbal “dress-down” of an office attendant at the company responsible for towing her illegally parked car is “one for the ages”…thanks to the tow company’s release of this videotaped encounter. McHenry leaves “no verbal stone unturned” in her pathetic tirade.

How ironic that little “Miss Television” was caught on video. My response to her would be something like….“Hey bony little blonde [not really as the eyebrows are always a “tell”] could you please SHUT-UP?” Naturally the attendant was much more civil than I would have been and compliments to her for her reserve in this unfortunate incident. Yo Britt…that you were not fired or demoted from ESPN…you ought to feel very fortunate. Hopefully…as a pre-30 year old you can learn from this episode…though I doubt that you will. Sorry to say Britt…but your behavior was purely immature and “dumb”.

But Britt, I am happy to inform you that, you are not the dumb-est woman east of the Mississippi River. There is another woman, geographically adjacent to you [located in DC], who appears to be much dumber than you are and cannot claim immaturity as a rationalization for her erratic behavior. BTW…her name is Janet Yellen and she is really dumb.

As the Chair of The Federal Reserve, her almost indisputable future boneheaded maneuver is walking [quite briskly] into a quite obvious economic trap…as she is hell-bent on raising interest rates while the economy is actually slowing down [the 18 month window to ramp rates as the economy moderately improved recently closed with the Q1 GDP “print”…with lower revisions to come].

Why would she do such a thing? It seems she is trying to divert attention away from the Justice Department’s investigation of an illegal leak of extremely sensitive information [by The Fed] to a senior level employee at economic consulting firm Medley Advisors. Hey she has already admitted to meeting with one of Medley’s executives in June ’14…the connection, by her own admission, is already established. How dumb is that?

To be fair the leak may have not come directly from her but it absolutely came on her “watch”…and that is a big, black messy mark on her record [aside from missing the real estate bubble and subsequent economic meltdown in ’08/’09…a distinguishing point that a lot of folks have conveniently forgotten].

You know I was thinking that it may be a good idea for these two, obtuse sorts to get together for drinks/dinner some time to discuss their similar predicaments. The dialogue would be fascinating.

Britt could advise Janet on how to better present herself in front of the camera. Let’s face it…Britt is a “looker” who could whisper plenty of short-cut beauty tips to Janet…especially beneficial during those televised, quarterly press conferences broadcast from “stem to stern” on most global business networks. Those close-up video “shots” can be fairly revealing and unforgiving. Perhaps some tips on facial waxing? I am sure Britt must be well versed on those matters…you know just a little more “Spic & Span”.

And Janet could proffer some “inside” information to Britt based on the chatter at those FOMC confabs. Plus, to borrow a phrase from Yellen’s scripted response to a Congressional inquiry…“I can assure you…” that Ms. McHenry will have no idea how to use this information to her economic benefit as she is, most likely, dumb enough to ignore it.

Finally, I want Britt to know that I forgive her for her mean, yet hilarious, transgression. Now go out and be a better person. I know you can do it.

As for Janet I’ll not be as forgiving toward you as the enduring economic consequences of your dumbness will likely hurt/damage many more businesses and individuals than young, dear Britt will ever impact.